See that chick over there? Well she's me and I did something really stupid trying to make things right that really weren't wrong to begin with. Because of a few shallow people's thoughts about my work I made a rash decision to go back to a pen name and I guess I just woke up today. The truth is if you're that insecure with your own sexuality that you have a problem with the type of writing I do... that's your problem not mine!
To my sexy Alpha Male Jay... I love you too babe but I'm done trying to hide who I am to live in this backwater town. They can accept me, or we can do what we've always done since moving here and just be a family. It's no secret that Coosa County is one of the most Southern hick places in the world to live and the only reason I agreed to live here at all was because my husband happens to love our forty acres of land. It has everything he wants but as far as a social life for me?
Let's just say that if you're not on your knees worshipping 24/7 and pretending to something you're not, the chances of finding friendship are pretty close to nil. Honestly it doesn't even bother me much because I have four great kids at home who I'd rather spend my time with anyway. The way things work around here in deliverance country is you are either a redneck party person or bible thumping zealot. I hate to say, well I don't really, but I'm neither. So yes the last ten years isolated in this country version of hell hasn't been much fun!
I grew up as a military brat and after that I traveled all around the world with my singing. Chicago was my favorite place on earth and I miss it dearly! For the last ten years I've called this place home and have tried my best to fit in. No more. I'm sure there are some people out here in the sticks that feel the way I do but I doubt seriously they are willing to speak up about it. It's not only the adults but the children in the schools here as well.
If you've followed me on facebook you'll know that my 17 year old daughter has had horrible problems with bullying because she, just like her mom, doesn't fit in here. She's going to kill me for this BUT at least she keeps her legs shut and has decided to wait to find the love of her life. For that and her love of drawing and anime these horrible children have ridiculed her beyond belief. Stifling creativity and making people feel like they are beneath you because you don't share their idiotic ideology, that's what you can expect in our part of Alabama.
This has turned into a huge rant, but I swear I needed to get it off my chest. Accept me for who I am or not. Mess with my children and expect to end up in a court of law! And Coosa County Board of Education... believe me I'm watching you like a hawk! So in short (can I even say that now) I REFUSE to use the pen name, I REFUSE to apologize for being an erotic writer, and I REFUSE to let you make my children suffer for your narrow mindedness. This is my life these are my children and I will fight you tooth and nail to make sure that MY rights are upheld!
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