Sunday, November 11, 2012

Spicing Up Your Sexual Relationship

Being in a relationship for a long period of time, there's normally a point when things seem to get a little dull in the bedroom.  Now we're not saying you need to get as creative as we did in 10 Nights, of course if you and your partner feel compelled, by all means don't let us stop you, but a little creativeness might be just the thing to heat up your nights!

You know your partner better than anyone, at least if you're sharing a bed we're going to hope you do!  That being said, always take into account his or her comfortability in sexual relations before embarking on any new type of sexual play.  The ideas we're going to share with you are a watered down version of the sex scenes in 10 Nights, but like we said earlier if you want to go for the gusto, have at it.

During Leah's first night of intiation, Rhett asked her to dance for him.  Now this can be done for either a male or a female, and just think of how erotic your partner will find it to have a private dance!  Obviously you want a little privacy for this one, unless you're a voyeur which is fine with us, but if you're a little more shy get your lover somewhere alone and turn on some sexy music and rock his or her world.  The first time you try to do a sensual dance for your partner can be a little intimidating, but remember he or she wouldn't be with you if they didn't enjoy you sexually (at least we hope not).  Dancing for your partner can be a great way to overcome your inhibitions as well,  if you have them and if you don't well kudos to you!

Roleplay anyone?  During one of Leah's nights, Rhett dresses up as a vampire hell bent on seducing his innocent victim.  We think this was one of the hottest scenes in the book, and it's something that with a little creativity any person should be able to pull off in the bedroom.   Most people have some fantasy that you can play out, and you know what shows or books your partner loves best.  Take a scene from one of his or her favorites and bring it to life in the bedroom.  If you really don't know what they like, drop subtle questions the week before you decide to venutre into your sexual roleplay night to discover what would really rock their world.  This idea could turn into some really adventuresome nights together and might even become one of the favorite ideas.

So what about a little voyeurism?  We're not suggesting you attempt the dress shop scene from 10 Nights, again unless you just really want to go that far.  But having a night out where you take her shopping (sorry guys this one works better for the ladies we think) and encourage her to model your favorite outfits can be a really steamy idea.  Ladies this also helps you discover what your partner enjoys seeing you wear!

To make this a sensual experience, men you need to stand outside the dressing room and get your lady to come out and model each of the outfits for you that you've chosen.  Remember gentleman, you know your partner well, so if she's not comfortable in a bathing suit at the beach, she's probably not going to be really into modeling lingerie in public, so consider that before you decide on clothing choices.

While Leah and Rhett had a little sexy in the dressing room after they both got turned on from the experiences, there are laws against that so we recommend taking it home or to a hotel after your little fun with shopping.  Dressing your lady and remembering to tell her how sexy she looks wearing your choices, can be a hot experience!

A little playful bondage doesn't mean you have to show up at the next BDSM conference and can be a sensual experience if you take time to research and know your partners limitations.  For some women and men having their hands bound and/or their vision impaired gives them a sense of being able to enjoy things that they might feel uncomfortable with if they had to actually say it out loud.  Let us make a huge statement here before you try this, if your partner says no and really means it, be understanding and don't push the issue!  Some people don't enjoy having their movements restricted and the last thing you want is a partner who's ready to kick you to the curb because you didn't respect their boundaries.

That being said, talk to your partner and calmly suggest that you'd like to enjoy a sensual night and bind their wrists or blindfold them.  Explain to them that if at any time they feel uncomfortable they can tell you to stop and you will.  The biggest thing about this sexual fantasy is knowing that you can trust the person who is in control.  Being tied down or blindfolded for the first time can be an exciting yet overwhelming feeling for some people, so give reassurance the entire time.  Making love this way is a huge turn on for some people and if you find you both enjoy it, then by all means experiment more!

These are just a few ideas to spice up your sexual relationship, and we hope you've enjoyed reading about them.  Whether you're married or in a long term relationship, enjoying the beauty of sexuality can be something that brings both you and your partner closer together.  Being able to talk with your partner about your fantasies without judgement is an extremely freeing aspect, and we believe it's something that all couples should strive for.  We all have desires, and when couples are able to break down the barriers of communication it opens a whole new world of understanding.

A healthy relationship is always about being able to talk to your partner honestly without fear of being judged.  Even in the vanilla world (a relationship without BDSM), safe, sane, and consensual should be three words that are involved in your sex life.  Respect each other and explore the beauty of your passion.

10 Nights was written as a hard-core version of the BDSM lifestyle and is not something we recommend for beginners.  In reality taking a virgin into scenes that intense would be unheard of, hence the category of fiction for the book.  Some of the scenes in 10 Nights are advanced for even moderate players in the community.  While they make great fiction, we don't encourage novices or anyone without a long term understanding of BDSM to even attempt some of the scenes involved.

We wanted to shock readers with a glance into the world of BDSM with 10 Nights.  It was written for mature readers and shouldn't be read by any one under 18 or whatever age is legal in the country where you live.  Rhett is what we would lable as an extreme Alpha Male Dominant, and while there are certainly those types of Dominants out there, they are not the norm.  Purchase 10 Nights from the following booksellers:

1 comment :

  1. If you enjoyed this article let us know! We only want to give you great content that you enjoy reading about and your comments help us decide what you like.


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