Wednesday, November 30, 2011

My Choice for President - World Run by Vampires

With all this talk in the news about elections I figured I'd give my two cents about who I want running the country  in 2012.  My theory is since most politicians are blood sucking vampires anyway why not just let a real vampire run the free world?  So I've narrowed down my choices to a few potential candidates and you should give me your opinions so I can make the best choice.  Read about their redeeming qualities below and ask yourself if they wouldn't do just as good a job as the wanna-be vampires we've had in office over the years.

We'll start out with Edward Cullen since he's already got a cult following bigger than most vampires these days.  While PETA might have a few problems with his unethical treatment of animals he's got some redeeming qualities that I'm sure the public can agree with.  He never gives in to the bad guys and he follows his morals to the point of sacrificing his own needs.  This makes him a fine candidate for U.S President I think.

Next let's explore the option of Eric Northman.  He's a shrewd businessman and he's proven he knows how to keep his finances working famously at Fangtasia.  Of course we might have to worry about his dungeon tactics when it comes to disobeying his rule, but other than that he truly would make a great candidate for President.  If nothing else the boring talks that interrupt our favorite shows at the worst time would be worth watching.

Spike, now that's a vampire I could really pay attention to because seriously with that bloody accent of his does it really matter what he has to say at all.  I could definitely see Spike sitting in the Oval Office in a business suit telling us how the world will be ran.  Definitely on the top of my list for Presidential Candidate.

Damon and Stefan would make a great President and Vice-President team and we could add in Elena as Secretary of State getting the full package.  The way I see it they've had enough experience with the craziness in their town to be able to run the U.S efficiently and they would look really great together in press conferences.

There are so many other great vampires out there to consider for office but I think the candidates I've listed above would definitely be enough for the public to choose from.  We don't want to overwhelm our citizens with to many choices, so I'm going to leave it there.  These debates would definitely be worth watching and the entertainment value alone make each and everyone of the above candidates perfect for the 2012 line up.  Let's just say no to government and yes to entertainment in 2012 because seriously it can't be much worse in Washington than it already is! 

The Dreams Continue

Two nights ago a dream found it's way into my night that changed my perception of reality once again.  I share this dream with you because it hopefully will give you an insight into why the Tears of Crimson series came to be.  I've said in a few interviews how the first book came from dreams I've had since I was fifteen year old girl, and also made reference to how these dreams have stayed with me over the years.  That being said, this last dream has really made me think differently about everything.  It's a little long so bare with me.

Before the dream I actually had a conversation with God, and please don't get offended I understand that many of my readers aren't religious.  I don't see God as most people see him and while I could get into that I think it's best I leave my religious belief between myself and my deity.  So in this conversation with God it was like a normal conversation you would have between you and your best friend.  I apologized for not praying for a long time and it was a pretty long conversation.  This is where things get a little strange.  As I was praying, I'm assuming I fell asleep.  It had been a really long day and I was just really exhausted so this makes sense to me.

So as I'm having this talk with God he informs me that Rafe has missed me and is still waiting for me to come home.  Rafe takes over the conversation and asks me if I've had enough of my walk on earth this time.  I'm not sure if I'm dreaming at this point because I'm really confused about what he's talking about.  He reminds me of our time spent at home which is the place I write of as Singe Tsigan in my book.  But instead of the darkened world where we normally go in my dreams this world is filled with light, waterfalls, and beautiful scenery and I can actually remember walking with him there.

Rafe goes on to tell me that he never visits the human world because he's never felt the need to go.  He reminds me that I grew bored with all the perfection of the world we shared and was always looking for a new challenge and this is why I wanted to come back in a human world to feel the emotions that others had on earth.  He tells me that he misses me while I'm away and wishes that I would return to him so we can be can be together again.

In his world we don't experience the same kind of passion that is found in the human realm because everything is mental.  He explains to me that I crave those things and it's another reason I chose to return again and again to the human world.  He goes on to tell me he doesn't like it when I form a relationship with another and that I have given my mortal husband children and those were my gifts to him.  Again he asks me when I'm going to return to him.  As in every dream I've ever had of Rafe he holds out his hand waiting for me to take it and return back where I belong which is with him.

The dream always ends that way and the other night was no different.  As soon as I tell him I'm not ready to come with him yet, I wake up.  The difference in that dream two nights ago is I woke up feeling completely recharged.  I have been dealing with some annoying little health issues lately that are personal and I won't get into them and for the first time in months I actually felt better.  My energy level was through the roof and I wrote more than I have in the last two months.  It's the strangest feeling to actually feel all the worries that have been seeping through my mind just dissipate and a peace surrounding me that I haven't felt in years.

I know these dreams are probably going to seem very far out to most of you that read this but I'm so use to having these kind of dreams that they are almost normal to me.  The first night that Rafe came to me was a dream so vivid that I can still remember it in perfect detail all these years later.  I have tried not to dissect my dreams because it would drive me crazy if I tried to rationalize them.  Those dreams are what make me write and also the one thing that helps me make it through the daily struggles of real life.

So I hope you enjoyed a glimpse inside my dream world.  As long as the dreams continue I'll continue to write about Rafe.  And for those of you that might be worrying about my everyday life, let me just say that I have a perfect grip on reality even if my head is in the clouds when I surrender to the fantasies of my nightly dreams.  I just had to say that because I know someone out there is going to read this and think I need a straight jacket *giggling*

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Image of the Day: "Vampire Star" --A Clue to the Secret of Dark Energy | Portal to the Universe

Image of the Day: "Vampire Star" --A Clue to the Secret of Dark Energy | Portal to the Universe

One of the fastest ways to get me interested in a science picture is to put the word vampire in it. Take a look at this beautiful but deadly star.

Twitter, Facebook, or Google+ What the Trend?

Today if you're going to promote anything you need to be on Twitter, Facebook, and up and comer Google+.  But what if you just don't have time to keep active on all three of these social media powerhouses?  I think to figure out which social media outlet is best for you first you need to make a list of what your trying to accomplish.  I'm going to look at through this with an authors eyes, because well that's what I am!

I started out on Twitter back in 2009 and have managed to build a small following up of a little over 10,000 friends.  With facebook I started roughly a month later and still maintain a following of a little over 2,400.  Google+ I've only been active on for the last three months and the number is a depressing 83 people in my circles.  Of course I can email 2,000 of those people sharing my information from Google+ which keeps me going back.

By going over those statistics I can easily see that Twitter is the most profitable way for me to spread the news to a large amount of people in the fastest amount of time.  That being said, facebook seems to be more of a personal involvement with my readers and that really has to be taken into consideration.  Google+ is still a growing social media outlet so I'm not counting them out, but they just aren't there yet when it comes to promoting across the widest platform.

One of the drawbacks with Twitter is the fact that there is so much information going out at once you don't really get honest numbers of how many people you are really reaching.  A way to make your target audience easier to reach is by following #hashtags.  Those little hashtags can break down conversations that are being talked about into something that is actually manageable to understand.  By adding those hashtags to a list in Hootesuite I can find folks talking about Vampires, which is what the genre of my books are about, and start conversation based off the topic that I want to discuss.

There are several programs out there that allow you to find the hashtag for what you're interested in talking about by doing a simple Google search.  Twitter is by far the easiest way to reach the most amount of people in the fastest amount of time and I highly recommend anyone interested in promotion of a product to consider investing the time to research it. While facebook is a great way to get a personal involvement with your base, in my case the numbers just don't support it as being the best way to communicate.  

I know this is way off the topic of Vampires but even vampire lovers have to take time out to figure out what social media outlets work from time to time.  To put things back on track, Twitter gets a fang bite for being the most productive social media outlet for promotion! 

Monday, November 28, 2011

Best Review - Top 3 Vampire Book Series 2011 - twilight, vampire, True Blood, JR Ward, fangs

Best Review - Top 3 Vampire Book Series 2011 - twilight, vampire, True Blood, JR Ward, fangs

Twilight - The Books or the Movies

When it comes to the Twilight books and movies I have a hard time choosing which one I consider my favorite.  As a Team Jacob fan I have to admit that you don't really feel how incredibly beautiful he is in the books but on the screen he just screams sex appeal.  Sorry Team Edward fans, I can't help who I find attractive.  In the books, it was easy to find myself drawn into another place and time even if that place was Forks, Washington which actually does exist.  With the movies I tend to find myself drawn more to the features of the characters, okay and yes I admit it waiting for Jacob to remove his shirt because holy sin that boy should never wear a shirt.

I've read the entire Twilight series close to forty times now, and have to admit I've only seen the movies on DVD twice, each.  So if I go by that analogy it's pretty obvious that the books really held the appeal for me and still do to this day.  Heck I have a copy of Breaking Dawn in my bathroom so it's the first thing I read when I need a little "private time".  I can't even put my finger on what truly draws me into the series by Meyer, but it certainly has held my attention for years.  

As a mom of five kids, hangs my head guiltily, Jacob is young enough to be one of my children.  I remember watching him on Shark Boy and Lava Girl for goodness sake.  There's something inherently wrong about thinking a young man is beautiful when your daughter is head over heels for him, even if he is famous!  It's just one of those things I have to live with because there just is no doubt that Taylor Lautner reaches across all generations as far as universal sex appeal.  

I do believe I've lost focus on the question I was trying to answer.  Honestly can you blame me, or have you not seen Jacob recently!  On a serious note the movies, while they are beautiful to watch and bring the words of the books to life, cannot hold a candle to the way Meyers portrayed the characters in her books.  I think these books will remain in my library as long as I still have the ability to read.  What are your thoughts?  Do you find yourself surrendering to the beauty of the books or the Twilight movies?  I'd love to know.

A Note From Tears of Crimson

As some of you might have noticed the Tears of Crimson site did not get updated this week.  Vampires need to celebrate holidays just like humans, so forgive us for taking a little break.  We will be back this Friday with a new line up of Vampire Entertainment, and that you can bet your fangs on.  From the Staff at Tears of Crimson, we hope that you all had a bloody good holiday and we look forward to bringing you the best in vampire entertainment for the upcoming new year!

Saturday, November 26, 2011

A Day in the Life of Author Michelle Hughes

As a paranormal romance author you might think I wake up every morning with this incredible urge to start writing about my characters.  Let me just let you in on a little background of how my days begin.  My typical weekday starts off at 5 in the morning, I know some vampire I am right?  After getting the kids ready for the bus, which arrives at my house by six, I check in to twitter to see what's going on in the social media world.  While I'm bouncing around twitter trying to answer mentions I'm also multitasking with emails that I received the day before.

Believe me when I tell you how easy it is to spend HOURS of my day talking to my friends on twitter and letting the work pile up around me.  Each week we put together a different entertainment venue for the Tears of Crimson site, and let me just say without @KaitlinD_TOC that probably wouldn't be running as smoothly as it has so far.  Along with the website we have the blog which runs a continuum of the stories we start off on the official site.  The site and the blog are a full time job in themselves because they take an extraordinary amount of work to keep the content fresh.

While we're trying to keep the two sites going, Sarah and I are also trying to work on producing the second book of the Tears of Crimson Series, Eternal Crimson.  If you want to know what takes the backseat of late it's the writing which is the reason we're doing this to begin with.  I haven't even mentioned our facebook friends which have been sorely neglected of late.  We run two groups on facebook, Vampire Lovers and the Tears of Crimson Nightclub.  Some people have asked why the Tears of Crimson Roleplay group has come to a halt, well the reason is really simple!  It's impossible to manage all these tasks and write at the same time.

We also have the Google Group and a few other programs that we run on a daily business that I won't get into, but they take time like everything else.  What it all comes down to is that Tears of Crimson is a business, and it's growing more everyday.  If you had asked me six months ago did I have any idea how big it was going to become I would have laughed and asked what you were smoking.  I started Tears of Crimson as a hobby because honestly I was in the middle of nowhere and needed some entertainment in my life.  I had no idea that it would take off the way it has and I'm still struggling to keep up.

My former background was in music and I have to tell you it was much easier being a singer than trying to manage a business.  I think one of the reasons it was so much easier is because I had a manager that took care of all the details so all I had to do was show up and sing.  Tears of Crimson is growing out of my expertise level on a daily basis.  So for all you folks out there that think it's easy to write a book I would say, yes you're right.  But writing the book is the easiest part of this adventure by far.

I decided to self-publish because I didn't like the idea of someone telling me that my work wasn't marketable. Marketable wasn't my first consideration when I started to write and if anyone would like to tell me that Tears of Crimson isn't marketable now I'll be glad to show them differently.  This business has become like my best friend and my worst enemy at the same time.  Every single day there is a new challenge to defeat and new ideas to be explored.  If I'm lucky I might even make the deadline for the second book which is approaching faster than I had hoped.

Did I mention that while I'm trying to run this business there are five kids at home and my husband who would like to spend more time with his wife?  If you'd like to become part of the insanity at Tears of Crimson we're always taking interns!  I say interns because there's not a huge paycheck waiting at the end of the week.  Every person that works for Tears of Crimson does it out of the goodness of their hearts and because they believe in the message we're trying to share with the public.  If you want to talk about loyalty, you just don't get any better than that.  One day I hope that the Tears of Crimson series, and the accompanying products that will be forthcoming will be all the rage.  I'm sure all the folks that help make this company run would like a paycheck also!

So that's how my days run 24/7.  We never stop and we just keep on pushing.  For everyone that is a part of Tears of Crimson I want to give you my heartfelt thanks.  Sarah and I know without any doubt whatsoever that we would never be able to do this without great friends like you! 

Friday, November 25, 2011

We're preparing to make your taste buds tingle!

You're hearing it here first!  Tears of Crimson is working on bringing you the best of Cajun Cooking with the creation of Cajun Kiss of Crimson!  We're going to make your taste buds tingle and give your fangs something to sink into with a touch of Louisiana flare that's gonna have you screaming "Laisser les bons temps rouler" or for those of you that don't speak the language Let the good times roll!  Keep your fangs turned here for developments!

Horror Lovers Spot: Southern Vampire Writer, Michelle Hughes

Horror Lovers Spot: Southern Vampire Writer, Michelle Hughes: Through a mutual friend online, I met and connected with dark and amazing writer, Michelle Hughes. I found my self interested in her right...

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Tears of Crimson - For Vampire Lovers

Tears of Crimson was based on the book "A Night at Tears of Crimson" but the Tears of Crimson Nightclub is for all Vampire Lovers.  We enjoy hearing from other authors, entertainers, and anyone that has a love for vampires.  A rather disturbing email brought something to my attention that I wasn't aware of yesterday.  The email basically stated that this person didn't think that we'd promote other authors other than the original writer of Tears of Crimson.  Let me be absolutely clear that we support all authors at Tears of Crimson.  While we only include authors on the site that deal with a Vampire Genre, we still support all forms of writing.

As the author of A Night at Tears of Crimson, and one of the administrators I can personally say with all honesty that there is not one paranormal author that writes in the Vampire Genre that I will not feature on this site if approached.  Well there is one exception to that rule and that is anything that goes outside of the legal boundaries.  That being said I encourage all vampire authors to come talk about their books.  I am not in competition with any author as I sincerely believe we all have something wonderful to offer and should be supporting each others work.

I love promoting others, and I mean that from the bottom of my heart.  If I can help you in any way whatsoever, I will do my very best to do so.  If you write articles about vampires, we would love to have them here.  If you know of an event that will be of interest to our vampire lovers, we would love to promote it and have no issue giving you credit for the find.  I would like to think that we are all one great big vampire loving family working together to share our love for these nocturnal creatures.

Please feel free to contact me with any issues or concerns you have.  I promise I will get back to you.

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Breaking Dawn Review

After what seemed like years of waiting, Breaking Dawn (Part 1) finally arrived in theaters. Lovers of the Twilight book series aren't going to be disappointed since for the majority of the show it stays very close to the books.  One thing I wasn't expecting to see that was actually a plus in this writers opinion, was the comedy laced throughout the movie.  The wedding scene was overtaken by the toasts, and I have to admit I was laughing so hard I had trouble catching my breath.  Charlie's (Bella's Father) was truly hilarious and I think his line "I have a gun and I know how to use it" will be embedded in my memories for months. Emmett's toast coming in at a close second letting Bella and the whole world know what he thinks they'll be doing on their honeymoon.

The Honeymoon was wonderful and the breaking of the headboard, which personally I had been waiting for, couldn't have been portrayed better.  Let's just say that feathers will be on most Twilighter's minds for a while.  I have to say that I was pleasantly pleased with Esme's Island and if anyone out there would like to offer me a week there I'll be happy to take it.

I can't forget my favorite Wolfy Man, Jacob Black, who looks just as sexy as ever.  Bibs will be required as our hunky werewolf fills the screen again and the only disappointment over this is that he actually wore a shirt in some of his parts which should be a crime.  Note to the producers, Jacob must ALWAYS be shirtless.

The birth scene was one of the most graphic I have ever seen and I had to cover my eyes at parts.  Yes it does get pretty gory.  It fit with the way the baby was destroying Bella's body and again I can't say anything but positive things about it.

This movie, while not my favorite Twilight movie (as a Jacob fan New Moon will always be numero uno), was incredibly rich in entertainment and I can't wait to see the second part.  I think they made a smart decision by ending up with glimpses of Bella's transformation even though I lost a bet on where the movie would cut for part two.  Definitely 5 stars for Breaking Dawn and I encourage all of our Tears of Crimson friends to take the time and watch it.

Love and Bites,
Michelle Hughes
Author of A Night at Tears of Crimson 

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Creation's Tears

Formed initially in the summer of 2002, it wasn’t until 2010 that CREATION’S TEARS finally aligned their focus as a unit.

Though, not a Death Metal band, the first incarnation of CREATION’S TEARS made a controversial yet impactful debut appearance at Belfast’s Rosetta Bar, (30th August 2002) playing support to Death Metal heavyweights Vader, Krisiun & Decapitiated. While the debut gig heralded some local success for CREATION’S TEARS, they continued to play only a mere handful of gigs thereafter and failed to produce any recorded material at that time. Owing to the relocation of two band members, the band went on haitus in 2004/2005…UNTIL 2009.

In early 2009, CREATION’S TEARS frontman, Brian “Eddie” Reynolds began to pen new material and with the support of lifelong friend, Ian Coulter (bass 2002-2005 & 2009-2010), the vision to reactivate the band was borne. For the months that lay ahead, the primary focus was on the creative process.

In late 2009, around a dozen songs had been completed by Reynolds but the more pressing issue of finding a suitable drummer within Northern Ireland’s small local metal fraternity was persisting. Reynolds knew however, that there was one drummer from amongst his own collection of favourite CDs, who would not only be competent but most complimentary to the music. With clarity in his vision, Reynolds set about tracking down one of his heavy metal icons of the 1990s in what seemed like an outrageous attempt to find the right line-up…

Extract from

Former PARADISE LOST/MARSHALL LAW drummer Lee Morris will make his return to the heavier end of the musical spectrum when he appears on the debut album, “Methods To End It All”, from Northern Ireland’s melodic melancholy metallers CREATION’S TEARS.

Commented CREATION’S TEARS frontman Brian “Eddie” Reynolds: “For me, Lee Morris was responsible for bringing a whole new dynamic to PARADISE LOST’s sound on ‘Draconian Times’ on songs like ‘The Last Time’ and ‘Forever Failure’, but especially on tracks like ‘Enchantment’ and ‘Shadowkings’, where he had a unique sound, so we’re excited about what he’s going to bring to the table within CREATION’S TEARS.”

Stated Lee Morris: “When I was first contacted by CREATION’S TEARS about playing on their album, I’ll be honest and say that I didn’t really have any great desire to re-visit this style of playing again, as after nearly a decade of touring and recording with PARADISE LOST, I’d kinda just about exhausted my enthusiasm for this scene. However, after hearing this band’s demos and being really impressed by the new fresh ideas they had, plus their incredible ambition, it became a bit of a no-brainer, really, on my involvement on this record.

Drummer issue resolved, Reynolds & Coulter then set about the task of studying countless CD productions both past and present in their hunt for a suitable producer for the debut CREATION’S TEARS album. “It would have been so easy just to book a local studio and nail this album in a few evenings and weekends, but we wanted to create something special and something we could be truly proud of,” recalls Reynolds. “I want a producer who really understands my music, who is as passionate about it as I am but who also has the right technical credentials.” A shortlist was made, but, one name, Jens Bogren, (Opeth, Katatonia, Paradise Lost, Soilwork, Amon Amarth etc) seemed to keep popping up.

A decision was taken and the mighty duo, Jens Bogren & David Castillo were selected to engineer & produce the debut CREATION’S TEARS album “Methods To End It All” at the legendary Fascination Street Studios, Orebro, Sweden. “On one hand, it seemed so crazy to travel so far away from home to make the album, but on the other hand, it just made total sense!” says Reynolds. “Sweden has produced some amazing metal albums and is home to some of my favourite bands. I could go to Fascination Street Studio, where I’d be surrounded only by snow and pine trees. I could live in the studio and totally immerse myself in the music without distraction.”

Former Kill II This guitarist, Mark Mynett was chosen to record the drums in Huddersfield, England.

In a completely unexpected twist and just days before recording commenced, bassist Ian Coulter announced he would be leaving CREATION’S TEARS to concentrate on his new marriage. Reynolds: “I totally understood his reasons, and respected his commitment to his new wife, but I couldn’t believe this was happening when it was!”

Reynolds recalls that Coulter’s departure almost halted CREATION’S TEARS before it got off the ground. “We grew up together since we were four years old. We learnt our instruments together. We planned the future of the band together. It felt like I was loosing a brother. All of a sudden I had massive uncertainty!”

Reynolds continues, “For a week, I was a wreck. I thought about cancelling the studio but felt morally obliged to honor my booking at this late stage. I needed a bassist and had just over a week to find one. I needed to find the extra money that Ian would have contributed to the recording but I was having my own financial crisis.”

On the scramble to find a bassist, Reynolds stated his concern after he’d approached a handful of well known bassists from already established metal acts. “I was worried that CREATION’S TEARS would turn into a side project or a manufactured band for a load of session musicians. That’s not my vision for CREATION’S TEARS.”

It seemed that Ian Coulter was still the obvious man for playing bass on the recording and that’s how it happened. Reynolds: “Ian was the natural choice. I love his playing style and we have musical chemistry. He not only knows the songs but feels the songs. Luckily we’re still best mates even now so Ian followed through and did a tremendous job on the album.

In a cruel twist to an already stirring drama for Brian Eddie Reynolds, vocal recording sessions which were taking place at Ghost Ward Studios (Stockholm) reached an abrupt halt when the CREATION’S TEARS frontman contracted serious food poisoning.  Bassist Ian Coulter said, “I’ve known Eddie all my life, and he never gets sick, so I knew this was serious!” He added, “Despite being sick, he still travelled to the studio each day for the bass sessions. It was funny; sometimes when we thought he was asleep, he’d mumble some defamatory comment about a bass line not being quite right!”

With only three vocal lines left to finish at the time, Eddie took to completing these in his home studio which he then christened “Cure for Poison Studio” for the album’s credits.

Ex CRADLE OF FILTH vocalist, Sarah Jezebel Deva, makes a guest appearance on the track “Creation’s Tears”.  Her vocal part was recorded by Daniel Abela at Escape Route Studio, Essex, England 9th February 2010.  Notably Sarah Jezebel Deva has also appeared on albums by Therion, Mortiis and The Gathering and in 2010 released her solo debut, “Sign of Sublime.”

Reynolds:  “I’d written a song called Creation’s Tears some years back when I fronted a band called Apathy for our “Inertia” album.  The Apathy album (“Inertia”) was never officially released back then but I felt that this particular song is still entirely representative of the kind of music I write today.  In the Apathy days, the female vocals were performed by my younger sister.  The song was reworked for “Methods To End It All” with a second verse being added and the original end section being completely removed.”

It was after hearing the Angtoria album, “God Has A Plan For Us All”, that Reynolds decided to call upon Sarah Jezebel Deva to perform on the track “Creation’s Tears”.  Reynolds:  “There was a certain quality to her voice, a warmth and innocence that I just hadn’t picked up on in her role with Cradle of Filth”.

The debut CREATION’S TEARS album “Methods To End It All” was released in the UK and Ireland on 4th October 2010 via the Cure for Poison label (distributed by Code 7 via Plastic Head).  The album is also available worldwide here.

In late 2010, ex Stand-Up Guy drummer Conor Mullan contacted Reynolds (in response to an internet advertisement seeking musicians) and in February 2011, he became the live drummer for Creation’s Tears. Around the same time, Steve Emerson, formerly of Ozzmium, joined as the band’s guitarist with Ian Coulter continuing to fulfil the role of live bassist. This new line-up played their first gig on 20th May 2011 in Ballymena, the hometown of Brian Reynolds. The band played again on 18th June 2011 in Belfast’s, The Limelight, the very venue where the Creation’s Tears frontman had first seen drummer Lee Morris play with Paradise Lost.

On 7th August 2011, Conor Mullan announced his departure from Creation’s Tears in order to pursue his career as a sound engineer. Reynolds again confided in ex Paradise Lost drummer Lee (life coach) Morris and a decision was taken that Creation’s Tears would NOT seek a replacement drummer and that Lee would fulfil drumming duties for the band where possible.

TO BE CONTINUED...  Visit Creation's Tears on their own site to find out even more!

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Getting to know Gabriel

Gabriel the Conqueror as he was known in 384 BC by his friends of the time Eduardo the Seer , and Nathaniel the Noble and six other friends who have not been named yet.  Gabe, Eduardo and Nathaniel were noble men of their time who had a secret brotherhood that studied dark magic.  They met weekly at a destination that to this day is still unrecorded or revealed.  For two years prior to the great awakening they practiced many forms of dark spiritual magic in the attempt to gain power beyond their meek human standards.  Eduardo was the strongest of the group and spent most of his free time attempting to uncover mystic legends that would lead them to greatness.

On the night of the great transformation they called a circle and summoned the dragon (this creature would be known as Satan and a dozen other names in certain religions, needless to say he is the darkness of spirit).  Nathaniel protested this summoning of the dragon but his brothers refused to allow him to leave the circle as they feared that he would speak to others about the acts they were committing.  During this time frame it was illegal to practice dark magic and a sentence of death was the price if they were discovered.

The Dragon drew Gabe and the rest of the brothers into his presence and transported them to Singe Tsigan (the planet of Crimson Darkness where no sunlight ever touched).  Nathaniel was sacrificed as the weakest of the clan and taken to reside with the Dragon in the lower realms.  Gabe returned to the human realm as a vampire.  Eduardo became the leader or the Elders the vampire Kingdom on Earth and the other realm.  Gabe became his second in command.  From that moment they created vampires and they all fell under the rule of Eduardo.

Gabe is said to be 6'4 with blonde hair that fell across his massive shoulders, “and he was clad in black leather from head to boots. He was irresistibly handsome but the ice his cold eyes was putting off, definitely left you thinking more about murder than desire.”   He was married only once and she tamed the demon that resided within him while she walked the earth.  She was murdered ruthlessly and Gabe when on a killing spree killing the entire village that was responsible for his beloved’s death.  After her death the human race was nothing more than a life sustaining species beneath his mentioning.

Gabe is ruthless taking what he wants and feeling it is his due.  He is known to be a dominant and enjoys playing in the dungeon.  He has no problem compelling women or men for that matter to please him sexually or becoming his dinner.  He is Rafe’s creator.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

In pursuit of the homes of vampires: Understanding the fans

In pursuit of the homes of vampires: Understanding the fans

Getting to know Cara Faith Donovan

Cara Faith Donovan is the leading character in a Night at Tears of Crimson and it's her beautiful face that graces the cover.  Okay, the real person gracing the cover is Candace LeRae, my cousin from Florida.  But if Cara could be portrayed by anyone it would definitely be Candace.  Many people have asked me why I didn't include a couple on the face of my first book and the answer to that question is easy.  I fell in love with this picture of Candace when I first saw it and A Night at Tears of Crimson is told from her viewpoint.  I knew I was taking a big risk by not showing the "man candy" on the first book in the series, but my heart told me this was the right way to go.

In A Night at Tears of Crimson we follow the story of the beautiful young lady from Alabama who is trying to adjust from losing her grandmother.  Her entire life prior to this huge devastating event revolved around doing the right thing out of the strong moral conviction her grandmother raised her to follow.  We discover that her eyes had been sheltered from the real world by living in a small home town which adds a touch of naivety that isn't found often in a young woman her age.

While Cara was living out her grandmothers ideals for a wholesome life, she was harboring a dream to become a famous singer.  Those dreams were kept hidden until she is left with the choice to remain and live out another persons thoughts or make her own choices in life.  She chooses to move to New Orleans since it was the only place her and her grandmother had ever traveled to.  They had done mission work for the church in the French Quarter and that memory had remained in her thoughts compelling her to take a chance on finding something other than church socials to attend.

A Night at Tears of Crimson truly begins when Cara finds the New Orleans Vampire bar and meets the owner, Rafael Santiago.  She is instantly intrigued by the mystery that surrounds him and an awakening first desire.  During her journey she unravels the truth about Rafael (Rafe) and has to make the decision about staying true to the values that her grandmother raised her with, or take a chance to walk in darkness with the first man who has stolen her heart.

The second book in the series will continue with Eternal Crimson, releasing June 2012 with co-author Sarah Snyder.  I refer to Eternal Crimson as the grown up version because innocence can never be retained forever.  With each choice Cara makes there is a change in her experiences that demand a deeper level of understanding.  I look forward to sharing Cara's journey with you and exploring the mythology of the world that she evolves from.


Monday, November 14, 2011

Sweet and Sassy: Slaying Demons

Sweet and Sassy: Slaying Demons:

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Donate to the Anti-Bullying Organizations Ellen Supports - The Ellen DeGeneres Show

Donate to the Anti-Bullying Organizations Ellen Supports - The Ellen DeGeneres Show:

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Bullying! Just Imagine!

Imagine running home from school every single day of your life in terror, hoping that you manage to make it through your front door before your attackers find you.  Imagine how it would make you feel to not have anyone listen to your cries for help and suffering in silence 365 days a year.  Imagine your dreams being filled with monsters that taunt you telling you how worthless you are and looking in the mirror when you wake up and seeing nothing but an endless future of pain and humiliation.  Imagine wishing that your life was over so you wouldn't have to deal with all the feelings of inadequacy that have you living in fear to the point where you're unable to breathe.

Stop right now and imagine that you are this person and there was no way out from the constant fear and humiliation and that no one was willing to step in and make the pain end.  For hundreds of thousands of young people around the world this is not something they imagine, it's what they deal with on a daily basis.  How do I know?  Because I use to be one of them.  I was the girl that got picked on because she had a funny last name.  The girl that ran home from school hoping that the much older girl wouldn't be able to catch me before I made it through my front door.  I looked in the mirror and I saw nothing but this useless waste of space called my body and felt unlovable.  I wondered why I bothered getting out of bed in the morning when it was going to be another day of being tortured and no one caring enough to make it stop.

No one should have to live this way.  And there were days when I wondered why I lived at all.  This type of mental pain doesn't stop when the bullying ends either, it remains locked in your subconscious for years to come.  If you are strong enough to live through the horrible years of bullying it still taints your soul and you find yourself fighting against the images these tormentors have put into your mind.   And what about those that don't have the mental strength to suffer through the daily pain, have you looked at the suicide rate of children that are victimized by bullying?

My question to you right now is what are you doing to stop this from happening?  Stop imagining that there's going to be a solution without people actually caring enough to change the laws against bullying.  Stop imagining that if you don't add your voice to protest against this mental and/or physical form of abuse that anything is going to change.  Stop imagining that you really care about these young people suffering if you're not willing to take the time to help find a solution.  Stand up and show that you are against bullying!  If you are a parent, teach your kids how wrong it is to make another person feel inferior.  If you're a teenager refuse to hang out with people you see bullying others and turn them in to your teachers.  If you're a lawmaker, help make the punishment for bullying stronger.

Bullying should not be a fact of anyone's life, if you see it happening get involved.  And if you think that bullying only happens in certain economic classes or against people who view things differently than others, you are sadly mistaken.  Bullying can happen to anyone, for any different variety of reasons.  The real question you should be asking yourself, right now, is what are YOU going to do to help put an end to bullying?  I encourage you to share this article with every person you know with the hope that one less child has to suffer because we weren't willing to stand up against bullying!

Michelle Hughes, Author of  A Night at Tears of Crimson 

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Illuminati : Michael Jackson | Hip Hop vs Illuminati by SIRIUS The Dogg Star | Last Days' Bible Prophecy Explained, End Times' News | Luciferian Secret Societies Exposed, No New World Order

Illuminati : Michael Jackson | Hip Hop vs Illuminati by SIRIUS The Dogg Star | Last Days' Bible Prophecy Explained, End Times' News | Luciferian Secret Societies Exposed, No New World Order:

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Sexy Vampires Didn't Start With Twilight

I was reading a blog the other day that had the audacity to say that Twilight made vampires sexy.  Don't get me wrong I happen to think Edward is a handsome vampire but there were many greats that walked before he, Eric, or Damon found their way onto the vampire scene.  When it comes to sexy,  these fanged men were heating up our blood long before the world ever heard of Edward Cullen.

The man that made me fall in love with Vampires and I personally thank for keeping my love of vampires alive is the beautiful Chris Sarandon. Fright night is considered a cult classic and it has always been one of my favorite movies on the shelf.

Jason Patrick from the Lost Boys 1987 was absolutely dreamy before and after he was turned into a vampire.  

Gary Oldman, Dracula in 1992 swept me off my feet.  The story off Dracula and Mina was absolutely incredible and I fell in love with this beautiful vampire.  

Who can say that Antonio Banderas and Brad Pitt weren't two of the sexiest vampires to ever find the big screen? Interview With a Vampire, 1992 absolute 5 fang rating.

Miles O'Keeffe in Waxwork 1988 would make my heart race a little faster.  He was Dracula in the wax museum and absolutely fangilicious.

James Marsters and David Boreanaz from Buffy, I won't even get into how many times I still watch this series.  Let's just say that I've worn out two complete box sets and replaced them again.  


Twilight, The Vampire Diaries, and True Blood might be keeping the sexy in vampire, but they by no means started the tradition.  I know I've left out many of the sexy vampires out there but I just wanted to make a quick point.  The next time someone says that Twilight is making vampires sexy they might want to do a little research into the past.  Vampires have always been sexy and as a vampire lover I can only hope that Hollywood continues to feed my craving for these immortal hotties.

Author Michelle Hughes - A Night at Tears of Crimson 

Blood Oath for Fame

A few of my friends were having a conversation on twitter and somehow Blood Oath's entered the conversation. The Blood Oath is supposedly this oath you take to murder someone close to you or a family member so that you will become famous. To be honest I never heard of such except in movies and thought that most of it was just sensationalized nonsense. For whatever reason the thought of this just wouldn't leave my mind so I decided to dig into Google and see what kind of information I could come up with. What I found was disturbing to say the very least.

Let me do a quick backtrack so you understand why I'm a little shocked. My husbands grandmother, who I call grandmother as well, was a very religious woman. Every letter that me or my husband received from her would warn us about the Illuminati and the New World Order and end times Revelations. You'll see why this is so important as you go on to read the rest of this, I promise.

So as I was saying earlier, I decided to search information on Blood Oath's hoping it would get this topic out of my head. The first thing I run across is by some guy that I have never heard of called David Icke.  It's an older post put out back in 2009 but the first line of the post really catches my eye because it's discussing Baphomet, which is a pagan deity that is used in Occultism or Satanism.  The post goes on to talk about Hollywood being run by witchcraft and such so I move on to see what else I can uncover.

So now I'm on research about Baphomet and Blood oath and here comes the Illuminati and Free Masons.  My interest is held because I've heard so much about those two topics that I just have to delve deeper and find out what the connection is.  The things that I uncovered were rather interesting to say the least.  I run across this site called Sick, Sad World  which goes into some conspiracy theories about how all these celebrities have these distinguishing signs of being involved with Satan.  Being the logical person I am, and don't say that romance authors can't be logical, I can see how anyone that knew how to Photoshop could make these pictures.  All the posted videos on this site were unavailable so I did what I do best and moved on to the next idea.

My aimless wandering led me to the Free Masons and Blood Oath's and this group I have always been curious about because they appeared at my grandfathers funeral and I had never known he was a member before that day.  I found this article at that was somewhat disturbing and again I look at it as conspiracy theory because who wants to believe that this type of thing actually is occurring?

The search continued and I ran across this site at  where the author goes on to talk about how the Illuminati was created by the Free Masons.  This of course raised a few more questions but I was getting away from my original topic.  My main goal was to figure out what in the world a blood oath had to do with celebrities.  

The last place I came to was youtube where I found more videos than I cared to take the time to watch.  Everything that I read was more or less conspiracy theory.  But you can make your own judgments by following the links I've given throughout this post.  My personal opinion is that there are all types of religions, cults, and paths to follow in this world.  If such an oath is out there, and I'm not saying it is or isn't, uncovering it would probably be virtually impossible.  

I can theorize all day and night but the truth of the matter is that unless you see something like this happening first hand, it's all just sensationalized media.  I wanted to take a moment and thank my friends on twitter that brought this up @TametheDrew @ValkiraMob618 and @FrecklesMiley I wish I could have uncovered some huge secret here but unfortunately that wasn't the case.   What I did uncover was some great theories about the Illuminati, Free Masons, and cults so I guess it wasn't a complete waste of time.  If nothing else some of these conspiracy  theories and deities will make a great topic in my books.

In closing let me just say that if such a thing as a blood oath did exist I would have to decline.  I'd choose the love of my family and friends any day over fortune and fame without a second thought.  Grandmother would be proud to see me researching her favorite topic, so this one is in her memory. 

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Tears of Crimson - Open Invitation

We are sending out a message to all the vampire lovers out there.  Tears of Crimson, the New Orleans Vampire Bar is excited to announce that we will be reviewing books, bands, stores, and all venues that have a vampire related theme.  It is our opinion that vampire lovers should be one family united under the love of blood and promote their brothers and sisters in unity.   With this credo in mind we are opening the doors at Tears of Crimson to our kind and all that worship them.

The Elders at Tears of Crimson encourage you to visit the official crypt and make the decision to join us.  As the vampire lovers of the world unite we can accomplish great things.  The time for hiding in the shadows is over, be proud of our culture and share your darkness. Our nature is not one of trust so let me assure you that Tears of Crimson will not be asking for any monetary donations for the promotion of your work.  It is our pleasure, and that of the Elders, to share with our family.

There are a few notes that must be addressed as we extend this invitation.  Our Elders have informed us that we must abide by the laws of the human world for now.  With those orders in mind we cannot accept any works that may be considered pornographic in nature.  At Tears of Crimson we meld in with the population to keep the balance in this world and ask that any of our brethren consider this knowledge before submitting your materials.

Thank you for opening your invitation and we look forward to your response.  The promotion of your work will be seen on facebook, twitter, the Tears of Crimson site, RSS, and via Google +.  We ask that you take this into consideration prior to responding to our offer.  May your nights be full of blood and pleasure until we speak again.  Submit your information to Tears of Crimson.

Michelle Hughes
Author of A Night at Tears of Crimson

Bones found in New Orleans' French Quarter - KLTV 7 News Tyler, Longview, Jacksonville |

Bones found in New Orleans' French Quarter - KLTV 7 News Tyler, Longview, Jacksonville |

Friday, November 11, 2011

First Taste of Passion - Cara and Rafe and excerpt

Cara come with me,” his voice softened instantly and his eyes lost that murderous glare. The glare had turned to pleading but both looks were so intense that they shook me to my very core. I still wasn’t moving whatever kind of mood he was in I wasn’t real sure I wanted to be a part of it.
I didn’t mean to frighten you,” he smiled grimly his hand outstretched still waiting for me to take it.
I looked up at him wearily but put my hand in his letting him help me out of the car. I hoped I wasn’t making some error in judgment that I was going to seriously regret later. He squeezed my hand gently and smiled somewhat before leading me down a well-worn dirt path that led through the woods. The night seemed to still completely not even a cricket chirped and that was more than a little uncanny.
Where are we going,” I asked him nervously trying to keep the tremor out of my voice. He took so long answering me I wasn’t sure he’d even heard or planned to acknowledge my question. I was about to pull my hand from his if he didn't say something immediately.
I come to this place to clear my thoughts sometimes,” he spoke quietly as if he didn’t want to disturb the nature that surrounded us. I heard the sound of rushing water as he continued to guide me deeper into the forest. When the lush greenery opened into a clearing, I could only gasp at the beautiful vision before me. The full moon illuminated the scene making it seem even more surreal.
A waterfall that seemed to plummet five hundred or more feet above us pooled into a fast moving stream right before my eyes. It was as if someone had taken a picture right out of magazine and placed it in the middle of this secret hiding place. “It’s breathtaking,” I gasped in stunned amazement all thoughts of his strange behavior earlier now out of my thoughts.
Not nearly as breathtaking as you are Cara,” his eyes moved over me greedily and I was shocked at the stark desire in his hypnotic blue eyes.
I had to look away and focus on the tropical paradise before me. I was afraid if I continued to look at him I would be lost in his gaze forever. “I didn’t think you wanted...” I allowed my words to trail off in embarrassment as I almost said me. My eyes fell to my feet not wanting to meet his as my cheeks flushed deeply.
You didn’t think I wanted you,” he questioned with a self-derisive chuckle.
I shook my head no, not sure what I expected him to say and even more unsure if I wanted to know the answer to the question. His hands reached out to stroke my cheek softly and my eyes lifted in complete shock at the tender caress.
I shouldn’t want you Cara,” his hand moving to grasp my chin and he spoke the words looking at me strangely. “I shouldn’t want to undress you now and take your beautiful body in ways I can’t even begin to describe,” he spoke the words as if he hated himself for saying them. His hand tightened on my chin, “If I had any common sense I would walk away from you,” he lowered his lips to mine and kissed me tenderly.
I couldn’t breathe as I felt his lips on mine. My heart was racing so fast it was almost painful as I slid my arms around his neck and I returned his kiss passionately. He pulled away slightly and my eyes lowered to his chest nervously.
Look at me Cara,” he demanded quietly but there was an underlying command in his voice that forced my eyes to his.
As my eyes met his I felt completely overwhelmed by the passion that was so plainly shining from those deep blue orbs. “I don't know what you want,” I whispered miserably. I wanted to tell him that there was a part of me dying to explore this but I was terrified I wouldn't be experienced enough to please him. I had no idea what thoughts were going through his mind but I knew I'd never be happy with a one night start of a casual affair.
Just so you know I never do casual affairs,” his hand lifted my chin firmly making sure I was looking at him. “You intrigue me,” the words were spoken quietly but they spoke so deeply into my heart he might as well have been shouting them. “Tell me right now if you don’t feel the same Cara,” he demanded, “while I can still walk away.”
I nibbled on my lower lip nervously, “I, I feel the same way about you.” I whispered softly and felt a heat that spread through my entire body. It both terrified and exhilarated me at the same time. There were so many things I wanted to tell him. I suck at this, being the main one and that I probably would bore him in a week. I didn’t know much about pleasing men. I, of course, didn’t tell him any of those things.
He smiled at me and the warmth that radiated from his eyes made me tremble. His lips lowered to mine again and I gasped at the coolness of his flesh against mine, which felt like it was on fire. His tongue traced my lower lip causing me to gasp yet again. He took the opportunity to explore my mouth, deepening the kiss.
I grabbed his shoulders, clenching his shirt in my hands as his kiss nearly drove me to my knees. I arched my body into his without thought, needing to be even closer to him. His large hands moved down my back then cupped my backside pulling me against the evidence of his desire. I whimpered without thinking, wanting him desperately yet still afraid of how fast things were moving.
His hand lowered to one of my legs and he lifted it pulling it around his waist and holding it there. The unbelievable pleasure that moved through me as his shaft pressed against my core through my skirt, paralyzed me. So this is passion I thought to myself, breathless with anticipation before again allowing fear to grab the reigns. I pulled my lips from his breathlessly and struggled to catch a breath.
I’m afraid,” I allowed the weak words to slip through my lips and lowered my head to his shoulder trying to think through the emotions that were conflicting inside of me. I wanted him so badly but there was a part of me that still demanded I hold back. I was shivering uncontrollably by this point, fear taking complete control over the passion as I allowed myself time to think.
He slowly lowered my leg and pulled me against his chest holding me tightly to him. His hands moved to my hair caressing it gently and it was easy to see that he was fighting to control his own needs. “I’m sorry,” I whispered against his chest feeling like a complete idiot. This was the one time in my life I wished that I knew as much as other women my age, because the thought of disappointing him made my heart ache.
There is nothing to be sorry for,” he spoke the words quietly but I could hear the frustration in his voice. “I should take you home,” he continued to stroke my hair and I felt tears fill my eyes at his words.
I don’t want to leave,” the words fell from my lips quickly wishing I had the nerve to throw myself back into his arms and give him what we both seemed to crave.
You make it so hard to do the right thing Cara,” He tightened his arms around me and I allowed my arms to tighten as well not wanting to give up this chance. He pulled back somewhat and looked down into my face and I couldn’t tear my eyes away from his. “You are exhausted and it’s close to dawn,” he smiled warmly and it met his eyes, “Sunday night?”

An excerpt from A Night at Tears of Crimson

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Screams of Silence

Getting off the bus I made my way into my bedroom glancing at the clock dreading that five o'clock would soon come. I had grown to hate that time of day because I knew he was on his way home and the nightmare would begin all over again. He was so cunning, fooling everyone with his kind smile while inside there was a demon waiting to be unleashed where only I would see it. My stomach tied in knots as I tried to come up with a way to stop what would happen later tonight. I tried to shake off the feeling of impending doom and forced myself to finish my homework. The numbers just blurred before my eyes as I attempted to pay attention to the math questions. After long minutes of staring at the pages I just threw the book across the room. I thought to myself what did it matter I wasn't going to finish school, as soon as I could I was leaving this place.

My mom was working so I knew dinner was my job tonight and my younger sisters were probably going to be moaning over starving if I didn't get my act together. I made my way into the kitchen and threw some hotdogs on the stove and the normal griping session between me and my siblings began. At sixteen I didn't feel it was my place to take care of the little brats and I really resented my mom for working. In my thoughts she married the monster we lived with because he had money so why should she even have a job in the first place.

Just to back up a little, before we met the devil we were living with my granny who was the only angel that still walked this world in my opinion. My mom treated her like crap and I resented her for that because in my eyes granny could do no wrong. It was just one of the many things I resented her for and I vowed to spend the rest of my days making her pay for the hell she forced me to live through. In my mind there was no way she couldn't know what her demon husband was doing to me and since she didn't put a stop to it, she could only be a part of it. I think in some ways I hated her more than him because she was my mother and supposed to protect me.

I made dinner and me and my sisters scattered off to eat as far away from each other as we could be in the house. By this time I didn't want them anywhere around me. They were just these little fortunate creatures that got to live a normal life while my existence was one of fear and always looking over my shoulder. When the sun went down though all my horrible thoughts about them would change because they were the only line of defense between me and the devil that waited to attack when no one else was watching.

As his happy voice announced his arrival, I cringed inwardly. This was the part where we pretended to be the family that everyone wished they could have. On the outside I would smile and pretend to be glad to see him and suffer the familiar hug that made me physically nauseated. This was my role in the deception, pretending that he was just a great man and I appreciated all the things he had given to our family. We had this big beautiful house, designer clothes, and all the material things in life that most people craved. Our neighborhood was one reserved for the upper class and for people like us who had come from a line of cotton farmers, we were supposed to show the proper respect for being granted this walk on the good side for a change. Personally I was pretty happy with my granny's little old, but comfortable house that smelled like apple pie and sunshine and they could keep all this external makeup that made my life a living hell.

As soon as was politely acceptable, everything in this house was about that, I escaped my acting role and made it upstairs to my bedroom. In that room I had my barbie dolls, and yes at sixteen I was a little old to play with them but they made me happy. My barbies had the perfect life and no one ever made them do things that left them feeling uncomfortable and dirty. I would dress them and act out my perfect life and lose myself in their world because mine just pretty much sucked. I had close to thirty different dolls and each of them had become my personal friends. They were the only ones that knew the deep, dark secrets I kept hidden from the rest of the world. These dolls understood my pain and shared my tears. It was the summer of that year that I started having my dreams about my Rafe.

Before I tell you about Rafe let me explain what was so horrible in our beautiful little doll house, because that's how I still see it in my mind. We were these small town country folks dressed up to fit into a world where we didn't belong. All the accessories that made up the outside that people could see was just an illusion. None of us belonged in this world where people judged you by your cars and house instead of how good of a neighbor you were. There was a certain way you were supposed to act, things you knew that you couldn't discuss because looking bad to the Jones' was the last thing you wanted to happen.

As the lights went off at night the perfect little world we lived in turned into a nightmare. My baby sisters were in my room, even though they had their own because I had terrible dreams if they didn't sleep with me. My mom had given in to letting us sleep together knowing if she didn't I would keep her up all night with my screams. I tied the pantyhose from my door knob to the bed post because it was the only defense I could come up with against the monster who was waiting to enter every night. This was normal to my mom because I was fighting against something unreal and if it made me sleep better she couldn't see any reason why I shouldn't do it.

I could hear the clock ticking on my wall and I huddled under the covers waiting for the terror to begin. It didn't matter that I couldn't breathe under the covers very well because breathing wasn't really high up on my list of priorities at night. There were nights I wished I could just stop breathing all together because being dead would have to be better than this. The pounding steps in the hall way began and I clenched the covers tightly hoping tonight the monster would just go away and leave me in peace.

The doorknob was being turned, I felt my heart drop into my stomach. I began praying hoping that God would grant me a reprieve just this one night. The tears fell down my cheeks as the door creaked open and I knew he had made it past my barricade. Not again, I begged God, getting angry that he wasn't protecting me from the demon and starting to think he was part of the torture as well. I wanted to scream at my sisters to wake up but I was so terrified my mouth wouldn't open. Even though they were younger than me I hated them for not helping me even as I was glad at least they weren't being tormented as well.

His hands slid under the covers and the things he did to me had me screaming in silence in my mind. Let it be over quickly, that was all I could think about as I slid into my special place where none of what was happening in reality was real at all. I could escape everything if I managed to go to my secret spot where nothing bad could ever touch me. What was going on in my room was just a bad dream and that's the night when I first met my beautiful Rafe. He held out his hand and beckoned me to him offering me an escape from my world and the chance to walk in his.

All these horrible things were happening to my real body but when I was with Rafe I wasn't suffering any of them. My walk in his world continued every night for four years. He was my salvation and the only thing that stopped me from completely losing my mind to the suffering. I couldn't share what was happening in my reality because polite society would never understand. My mom was happy and finally had all the material things she had wanted and if my secret was revealed she would be forced to give up her dreams. I suffered in silence and lived in my dreams when the pain became so unbearable that I knew to accept what was happening would destroy everything in our lives.

I became a person outside that I still regret, partying with the wrong people who in retrospect were probably going through some of the same things that I was. With my new friends it was all about pushing the limits of what was acceptable because we knew that our parents would buy our way out of trouble if it came to it. There was no real connection to our families because they were so busy trying to keep up with each other that what their kids did really didn't add up to much. Looking back now it's easy to understand that the dark secrets I harbored led to a resent of my mother for not knowing what was happening in her own house. The fact that she had a full time job and three kids didn't matter in my mind because it was her job to protect me.

Our arguments were endless and violent. I wanted her to suffer for not opening her eyes. Words were all I had and I took every chance to throw them her way. My grades at school were falling rapidly and I didn't really care. In my mind school was just another place that people forced me to do things I didn't want and there really wasn't much benefit to what they were offering. I skipped classes and hung out with my friends and eventually a group of five of my closest friends and I ran away from home. There was not one ounce of compassion left inside of me to care what type of torment that would put my family through. As far as I was concerned they abandoned me long ago and I was just returning the favor.

We hitchhiked from Alabama to Florida with some truckers. Looking back now I know we were fortunate not to be killed. One of our friends had moved to Florida with his mother and she managed a hotel there. She gave us a place to stay so we didn't have to sleep out on the beach and the next two weeks were like a huge slumber party. I saw my face on the news one night and the only feeling I had about that was wishing they would just give up the search. I didn't want to be found because here there was no dealing with the constant abuse back home and I was finally free.

Going back to the truckers I should mention that we stayed overnight at a hotel and partied. One of them had wanted to make out and I refused. I wouldn't find out til months later that he eventually turned us in. His conscious had forced him to make the call, that's what he told the authorities. All I can say about that is he didn't have much of a conscious when he was hitting on a sixteen year old girl. His tip was how they finally located us. Me and my five girlfriends were taken to Juvenile where I would spend the next week.

I never revealed the reason I had run away to them and honestly I could have stayed in that place until I was eighteen and been happy about it. My mother and the demon took me home and the next four years would be a living hell. I was transferred out of a public school and put in a private one because by that time I had missed so much time I wouldn't pass for the year. My grades improved because I finally had one on one instruction and some great teachers and I had discovered how to separate what was happening at home thanks to my dream lover Rafe. I became a straight A student while partying every weekend with my friends and staying away from home as much as possible.

What was going on in my life by this point was just normal to me. I know that probably sounds strange to someone who hasn't lived through it but you learn to accept some things after years of being subjected to a situation. I dated many different men and deeply regret many of the choices I made. None of what was happening or the things I did mattered much to me. I could have left my home at eighteen and moved back home with my granny but I was so conditioned to my life by that point that I didn't want to leave. The torture from my stepfather was avoidable most nights of the week by staying with friends. I enjoyed my new car and the material things so much that I was willing to accept that this was the price I had to pay to have them.

The night it all came to an end still plays in my mind like an old song that I can't forget. I had gotten pregnant which was no big surprise to anyone that knew me at that time. I managed to have a beautiful son and gave up everything in my life that was harmful. Only I knew the dark secret that my gorgeous little bundle of joy could possibly have closer ties then my family would understand. It wasn't as if I'd been a saint over the last few years because sexuality to me no longer held the sacredness that it had before I was subjected to the demons visits. And let me be clear that I have little recollection of what happened during those nights except for the fondling and such because I blocked those from my mind with my visits to my dream lover.

It was after I had my son that my mom discovered pictures that would change the course of our lives. These pictures were of me in various undressed poses. I have no memory of these pictures being taken but they were my salvation. Those photos made my mother finally see the truth of what had been happening all those years behind closed doors. I sincerely believe that she had no clue of the abuse I was being subjected too. It took years for me to get to a point where I could actually forgive her for not knowing what was happening. We moved out of the demons house that same day and back home to live with my granny.

The entire incident was swept under the rug, so to speak. My mom never pressed charges and I didn't want to relive the past in court so nothing was every done to the demon. I have often regretted that decision because I worry that he may still be out there today doing the same thing to another person. In retrospect it was selfish for me not to hold him accountable for the pain he forced me to live through but I had escaped and that was all I could focus on. After all these years I still haven't been able to put that nightmare to rest.

I decided to share my story in the hopes that someone who may be going through the same thing finds a little hope. If you're out there and feel like there are dark secrets that you have to hide, know that you're not alone. You have done nothing wrong and there is a way out. No one has the right to make you feel uncomfortable or touch you without permission. One thing that an abuser does is makes you feel like what is happening is your fault, it's not. There are people in this world that want to help you and if you can't find them, then find me. I was fortunate to survive the mental and physical abuse that I suffered alone in my mind, but I never want to see another person suffer in that way. Below I have listed the web address and national hotline for RAINN (Rape, Abuse, & Incest National Network). If you are suffering these people can help you. Don't suffer in silence when you don't have to be alone.

RAINN (Rape, Abuse, & Incest National Network)
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