Wednesday, March 18, 2015

My "WTF" Thoughts about Fifty Shades of Grey

First let me say that I think E.L. James is brilliant.  I have no idea what magic she wielded to make the entire world drop everything and start talking about her book, but that's a dream for any author. Obviously it wasn't the first kink book out there, but it was the first to make headline news.  As a fiction read, hate it or love it, it obviously resonated with readers.  Myself included.  With all that out of the way, down to my WTF moments in both the movie and book.

First WTF!  An abused kid, grows into an abused teenager who in turn grows up to abuse women. Not an original story by any means, how many people do you know (or read about in papers, news, etc.) that blamed their dastardly deeds on mommy or daddy issues?  Ana and Christian's relationship was abusive from any standpoint (including the BDSM community). He sought out submissive's that reminded him of crack ho mommy.  Enough said.  

Let me just lay it out there for you.  If a man decides he has this NEED to beat women because of his past, that's a red light that should send any submissive running for the door so fast that you'd think the hounds of hell were on her heels.  Period.  End of discussion, you don't get to explain why you are the way you are.

Second WTF! In a line of WTF.  The beating scene with the belt.  Where he decides to show her how bad it can be for her to make a decision?  Really.  I mean come on, really?

I seriously wanted to take the belt from his hands and smack him in the face with it.  Not because the belt was such a horrible instrument of pain, but because of WHY he did it.  Ana's version of I'm a spoiled brat and show me what you could do was almost as stupid as him doing it.  Who's the Dom in that relationship?  Christian was a lost little boy looking for a way out from under the misery that he never got over from childhood, and Ana?  There was no pity from me for her in that scene because if you're idiotic enough to ask to be beaten, well you kind of get what you get.

They both needed a life counselor, not a BDSM relationship.  Although a Master who knew how to work through mental issues might have worked for both of them.  This scene (both book and movie) just irked me beyond belief!

Final WTF!  Because I'm getting angry writing this and that's never a place I enjoy writing from.  Nothing in this book and movie shows a healthy BDSM relationship.  NOTHING.  If you were a novice to BDSM before reading or watching the movie, forget everything you read and heard unless it's just entertainment value for you.  A REAL relationship in that lifestyle would never allow the abuses that occurred.  Domestic violence would be a better label than BDSM.  

Here's my pet peeve,  Fifty Shades of Grey was not an accurate portrayal of BDSM.  If you think it is, then 1.) You've never had a relationship that was based on power exchange or 2.) You were in an abusive relationship and need to seek counselling because that's not the way it happens.  Mutual consent, trust, and sanity.  That's the reality of a relationship in the BDSM lifestyle.  For the naysayers please feel free to point out where those three things happened in the Christian/Ana scenario.

Christian wasn't able to Master himself, so how in the hell could he be a Master to her?  He couldn't.

I enjoyed the books, the movie *rolls eyes* it was a good way to pass some time with my sister. If you can read or watch the movie understanding it's all a demented fairy tale, then absolutely. But if for one minute you think that's the reality of a BDSM relationship, you need to do some serious fact checking.  On a positive all the negative comments about BDSM thanks to this inspired my muse.  If you want to read a book that actually deals with reality in that world, feel free to check out Cherished.  

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