Monday, November 5, 2012
Confessions of a Mom and Erotic Author
For the last three years, Tears of Crimson has been based on fantasy. It's been incredible sharing my love of dark passion and fictional worlds, but today I wanted to share something new with all the readers, the person behind the books. Granted, my world is not as glamorous as the lovely Cara, Leah, Cayce, or Michaela's but that's not to say it's not just as interesting. As the mom of five incredible kids, wife to the greatest fisherman on earth, and daughter to one of the greatest ladies that ever walked the earth, I think I've been blessed beyond belief.
Prior to 2009, if you'd told me I'd be an author today, I would have rolled my eyes and giggled. Even though I started writing short stories back before eBooks every were mentioned, that wasn't where I saw my life going. In the 90's I was working on a career in country music, and was determined to be the next Reba McEntire. I had my oldest son and he traveled the road with me as I performed and hosted a satellite television showcase for vocalists trying to make it in the music industry. I was fortunate enough to perform with some great country music legends, like Justin Tubbs, from the Midnight Jamboree in Nashville, Tennessee. For those of you to young to remember, the Midnight Jamboree was 'the place' to be seen outside of the Grand Ole Opry back in the day.
In 1996 everything changed, I discovered I was going to be the mom of twins. Needless to say changes had to be made because raising three kids on the road, to me that just wasn't feasibly possible. So I gave up the music and moved back home to do what I knew was the right thing, raise these three incredible kids. I sang on the weekends, and went on to work in Respiratory for a full time career. There was always that longing to be on stage and share my love of performing. So move forward to 2008 and I discovered that I had time to write and the first Tears of Crimson book was formed in my mind.
It wasn't until 2009 that I discovered self-publishing, and the ability to share books with the world without a traditional publisher. That discovery changed my life. There was now a place to share my work and Tears of Crimson was born. I'll leave out all the roleplay stuff, except to say that it gave me a place to entertain myself while working on my books. That being said I will never regret the great times I had with True Blood roleplay, outside of the drama!
I consider him my Yin to the Yang, so let me just say upfront he doesn't believe in the world of fantasy. It's one of the things that balances our family, having a realist dad with a mom who's head is always in the clouds. After the release of 10 Nights he's finally on board with this writing thing, because it's finally proven itself to be a profitable business.
Being a mom of kids from the ages of five to twenty-two, of course I'm concerned about how they are going to see my writing career. Writing vampires was somewhat more acceptable because people didn't associate that with 'dirty books'. With the release of 10 Nights and Undercover Submissive I had to do some serious soul searching on how I was going to explain to my younger children what mommy did for a living. I considered writing under a pen name, and actually began that way with the first Tears of Crimson book. To me it was very difficult doing the pen name, and I decided that if I was going to write, I was going to be proud of my work and give it my real name.
There was another reason I worried about using my real name, but before I explain that, I'd like to say this first. I believe, and always have, that people have to choose their own paths in life and accept that other people might have different ideas of what works for them. I say that only because just because I believe in God and consider myself to be a Christian, that I am probably the least judgmental person you will ever meet. I've studied Wicca, metaphysics, and have many friends who still practice and I personally believe that whatever paths to spiritual happiness works for them, shouldn't be judged by another person.
I stopped attending church for reasons that had nothing to do with my personal belief, but because I have my own unique relationship with God that doesn't need the judgmental attitude that unfortunately I've run across in churches with other Christians. I questioned my own faith several times when people I befriended told me I couldn't write erotica and still call myself a Christian. I won't argue the rights and wrongs of mine or their theories, because at the end of the day it's all about what I personally believe and my relationship with God.
In truth my writing sexy love stories saved my marriage, and how that can be construed as a bad thing makes no sense to me. When our youngest sons were born, we were the type of parents that believed children should always feel safe and comforted so our youngest boys slept in our bed. Obviously not many physical needs can be met when you've got two little men sandwiched in between the sheets! Writing erotica allowed me to get all the frustrations of our non-existent sex life under control and still be a great mom and wife! So in my opinion, it has done nothing but positive things for my family.
I wrote this post today to clear the air and to finally be completely honest about who I am as a person and no longer hide behind the title of a book. Yes I've got a dirty mind, but in my everyday life you could call me the Betty Crocker of Erotica Writing. That dirty mind has made sure that my little people have a mom who can stay at home, and still help my husband with the bills that a huge family of seven wrack up. So ask me if I think I'm doing the wrong thing and I'll tell you I'm doing exactly what I'm supposed to be doing.
So now you know a lot more about me than I know about you, and I'd love to even the playing field. Stop in and tell me about you and your life. I love talking to people, what Southern Woman doesn't? When you step into my world I can promise you one thing, you'll be loved for whoever you are and there won't be any judgements if we don't believe the same things. The bottom line for me is that we are all just human beings trying to do the best we can in this crazy thing called life. Having great friends makes that worthwhile!