Monday, November 5, 2012
Confessions of a Mom and Erotic Author
For the last three years, Tears of Crimson has been based on fantasy. It's been incredible sharing my love of dark passion and fictional worlds, but today I wanted to share something new with all the readers, the person behind the books. Granted, my world is not as glamorous as the lovely Cara, Leah, Cayce, or Michaela's but that's not to say it's not just as interesting. As the mom of five incredible kids, wife to the greatest fisherman on earth, and daughter to one of the greatest ladies that ever walked the earth, I think I've been blessed beyond belief.
Prior to 2009, if you'd told me I'd be an author today, I would have rolled my eyes and giggled. Even though I started writing short stories back before eBooks every were mentioned, that wasn't where I saw my life going. In the 90's I was working on a career in country music, and was determined to be the next Reba McEntire. I had my oldest son and he traveled the road with me as I performed and hosted a satellite television showcase for vocalists trying to make it in the music industry. I was fortunate enough to perform with some great country music legends, like Justin Tubbs, from the Midnight Jamboree in Nashville, Tennessee. For those of you to young to remember, the Midnight Jamboree was 'the place' to be seen outside of the Grand Ole Opry back in the day.
In 1996 everything changed, I discovered I was going to be the mom of twins. Needless to say changes had to be made because raising three kids on the road, to me that just wasn't feasibly possible. So I gave up the music and moved back home to do what I knew was the right thing, raise these three incredible kids. I sang on the weekends, and went on to work in Respiratory for a full time career. There was always that longing to be on stage and share my love of performing. So move forward to 2008 and I discovered that I had time to write and the first Tears of Crimson book was formed in my mind.
It wasn't until 2009 that I discovered self-publishing, and the ability to share books with the world without a traditional publisher. That discovery changed my life. There was now a place to share my work and Tears of Crimson was born. I'll leave out all the roleplay stuff, except to say that it gave me a place to entertain myself while working on my books. That being said I will never regret the great times I had with True Blood roleplay, outside of the drama!
So here we are in 2012! While I love, and still plan on writing the last Tears book to release in 2013, 10 Nights happened. The Tears books had a mediocre success, but they were so close to my heart that I wrote them for love and it didn't truly matter. 10 Nights was what really changed my life though. In two months I went from writing because I just really loved it to actually having success and making a career out of my craft. It's been an amazing journey. For the first time since starting on this crazy journey of writing, I actually made a bigger paycheck than my husband. And since my husband is the guru of money, outside of being the greatest fisherman on earth, that's a huge accomplishment.
I consider him my Yin to the Yang, so let me just say upfront he doesn't believe in the world of fantasy. It's one of the things that balances our family, having a realist dad with a mom who's head is always in the clouds. After the release of 10 Nights he's finally on board with this writing thing, because it's finally proven itself to be a profitable business.
Being a mom of kids from the ages of five to twenty-two, of course I'm concerned about how they are going to see my writing career. Writing vampires was somewhat more acceptable because people didn't associate that with 'dirty books'. With the release of 10 Nights and Undercover Submissive I had to do some serious soul searching on how I was going to explain to my younger children what mommy did for a living. I considered writing under a pen name, and actually began that way with the first Tears of Crimson book. To me it was very difficult doing the pen name, and I decided that if I was going to write, I was going to be proud of my work and give it my real name.
There was another reason I worried about using my real name, but before I explain that, I'd like to say this first. I believe, and always have, that people have to choose their own paths in life and accept that other people might have different ideas of what works for them. I say that only because just because I believe in God and consider myself to be a Christian, that I am probably the least judgmental person you will ever meet. I've studied Wicca, metaphysics, and have many friends who still practice and I personally believe that whatever paths to spiritual happiness works for them, shouldn't be judged by another person.
I stopped attending church for reasons that had nothing to do with my personal belief, but because I have my own unique relationship with God that doesn't need the judgmental attitude that unfortunately I've run across in churches with other Christians. I questioned my own faith several times when people I befriended told me I couldn't write erotica and still call myself a Christian. I won't argue the rights and wrongs of mine or their theories, because at the end of the day it's all about what I personally believe and my relationship with God.
This is part of my beautiful family, getting them all together to take a picture is like pulling teeth, but we are your average American family all trying to make it in this crazy world we live in. And if you can't tell from the picture, we love Alabama! Okay well one of my twins is an LSU fan, and my oldest son Jon is an Auburn fan, but not all of us can cheer for the right team, we're still working on them! My point is that my writing Erotica hasn't changed them one bit.
In truth my writing sexy love stories saved my marriage, and how that can be construed as a bad thing makes no sense to me. When our youngest sons were born, we were the type of parents that believed children should always feel safe and comforted so our youngest boys slept in our bed. Obviously not many physical needs can be met when you've got two little men sandwiched in between the sheets! Writing erotica allowed me to get all the frustrations of our non-existent sex life under control and still be a great mom and wife! So in my opinion, it has done nothing but positive things for my family.
I wrote this post today to clear the air and to finally be completely honest about who I am as a person and no longer hide behind the title of a book. Yes I've got a dirty mind, but in my everyday life you could call me the Betty Crocker of Erotica Writing. That dirty mind has made sure that my little people have a mom who can stay at home, and still help my husband with the bills that a huge family of seven wrack up. So ask me if I think I'm doing the wrong thing and I'll tell you I'm doing exactly what I'm supposed to be doing.
So now you know a lot more about me than I know about you, and I'd love to even the playing field. Stop in and tell me about you and your life. I love talking to people, what Southern Woman doesn't? When you step into my world I can promise you one thing, you'll be loved for whoever you are and there won't be any judgements if we don't believe the same things. The bottom line for me is that we are all just human beings trying to do the best we can in this crazy thing called life. Having great friends makes that worthwhile!
Love Always,
Michelle
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Thank you for the wonderful insight to your world Michelle! I love this post and appreciate your thoughts! I'm happy that you're happy and I'm a strong believer in doing what feels right to YOU. Bravo on all the wonderful things you are doing for yourself, your family, and your marriage! Much love ~Jessy J
ReplyDeleteThank you so much Jessy! I admit I was really torn about coming out publicly about my belief system. It was definitely weighing heavy on my heart this week and I knew it was what I needed to do. Much love to you! Michelle
DeleteThanks for sharing your story!! It lets us know that you too are Human and have everyday struggles that the rest of us go thru. I love your books! I have been happily married to my hubby for 10 years and we have 2 beautiful little girls, ages 7 and 5. I wouldnt change it for anything. Our marriage has always been strong but the sexual side of it lacked for a better part of our marriage because I was never told that it should be something you enjoyed. It was something that you did as a married couple but that was it. It wasn't until I started reading stories like these that I learned it was okay to let yourself go and enjoy it. For that our sex life has never been better. So keep on writing and be who your are. Sometimes we feel like writers and actors and actresses are so far out of our reach.....but you and all the others that care about us "little people" and let us share your lives lets us know that your are just like us. So Thank You!!!
ReplyDeleteI was raised the same way hon, my Gran was a huge part of my upbringing and sex was something you did as a duty when you were married. I'm so glad that you took the time to comment today, and I hope that you'll always feel comfortable here and if you ever need to talk, I'm always available! There's nothing little about you or any reader hon, every single person that reads my work or any other author is the reason we do this. I love getting to know the people who read my books and making new friends!
DeleteLove,
Michelle
Thanks for sharing, Michelle. You've led an interesting life. Writing erotica and adult works is liberating. I say, write from the heart and don't worry about those who may judge you.
ReplyDeleteIt's definitely been a fun life so far Emma, and thank you so much! I've come to the conclusion that as long as my husband and mom support this road I'm traveling that is good enough for me. Great friends like you definitely make it easier!
DeleteLove,
Michelle